Monday Musings: Is Handwriting Dead?

This week's topic: Is handwriting dead?

(Turns out this was last week's topic. Oops!)

Yes! They have stopped teaching in elementary school. My two younger kids are not learning it, but my teenagers did. They have replaced handwriting with computer classes. I don't understand how kids even know how to sign their name anymore. Do they print it?

When I write in cursive my kids can't read it. I suppose that is kind of awesome. It's like I'm writing in code. Handwriting has become antiquated. (I've always wanted to use that word in a sentence! Yay!)

Although, I must admit I don't miss hearing them complain about trying to make the damn cursive letter Q or about how they are making the sticks too tall or the loops to big.

But also it's the death of individualism, in a way. My handwriting makes me unique. No one will ever write the way I do. Kids won't get to experience that anymore. I've never homeschooled before but I think I may at least try to teach them cursive writing. Then again, they'd be able to read my journal...so maybe not.

Ironically, styles of handwriting are fonts, so maybe it's not entirely dead.

This post has been part of Monday Musings hosted by The Book Barista.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbrosky

Book Review

Rather than give a traditional review I thought I'd do something different this time. Instead I will answer the Topics & Questions for Discussion in the back of the book. (Note: I have paraphrased some of the questions.)

1. Why do you think Chbosky chose to use letters as his narrative structure?

Because this book wasn't traditional in the sense that there is a plot and problem to be solved. It was more about how Charlie's character changes over a school year because of who he meets not what happens to him.

2. Who do you think Charlie was writing to? Does it matter?

I've always believed when we write letters like that we are writing to our future self.

3. Who did you identify with most?

Charlie because I never fit in, always felt like the friends I had eventually left me and I would end up alone, and like Charlie I cried about nearly everything.

4. Discuss Charlie's character. Would you be friends with him?

Yeah, I always gravitated towards people that were "freaks" when I was in high school. What fascinated me the most was Charlie's mental problems. I kept trying to figure out what his diagnosis would be - borderline personality disorder, bipolar disorder, anxiety disorder, schizophrenia, and so on. I didn't expect mental problems to be a subject of the book, so when Charlie started experiencing them and telling about how he had when he was younger as well I was very surprised and got me far more interested.

5. What do you think kept Charlie from "participating" when he entered high school?

Fear of rejection, being laughed at, failure, anxiety. 

6. Who was Charlie's greatest ally? Who was his worst influence?

His greatest ally was his English teacher Bill. (I know if it wasn't for my English teacher Mrs. Powers I probably wouldn't be writing today.) His worst influence was grandfather who got drunk and fought with everyone during family holidays.

7. How to the references to other books, movies, and music shape your reading?

I loved this! I am a person who seems to reference everything in my life the same way. I remember what my life was like when I read Bridget Jones's Diary or Prozac Nation and when I saw the movie Titanic, and when I heard the song Smells Like Teen Spirit.

8. When Bill invites Charlie over for lunch Charlie says, "He was talking for real. It was strange." What was meant by "real."

Teachers usually talk to kids like they are students. They keep their personal and professional life separate. As a kid you forget that they are people with lives and problems outside of school. When they talk about their lives and problems outside of school, it is indeed "strange."

9. Sam tells Charlie he can't put everyone else first and call it love. Do you agree with Sam?

Absolutely. Being a martyr and sacrificing yourself to take care of other people so they want or need you around isn't love. It's being a doormat. And when they are gone, you no longer feel wanted or useful because you aren't there to rescue or help them.

10. Discuss Aunt Helen's relationship with Charlie. Where you surprised to find out the truth about their relationship?

Not at all. I figured something really messed up had happened to Charlie to make him as unstable as he was. But it's hard to wrap your mind around it because you usually think of things like that being done by an adult male, not a female.

11. After watching an artsy film with Mary Elizabeth, Charlie says "It was interesting but I don't think it was very good because I didn't feel different when it was over." Do you agree works are only "good" if they make you feel differently? How did reading The Perks of Being a Wallflower make you feel?

Yes I absolutely agree. The books I have given the highest stars to made me feel or think differently than before I started the book. Movies and books can be interesting but what makes them great is when they make you feel strong emotions. The Perks of Being a Wallflower made me feel nostalgic about being a teenager. I'd like to write about some of the things I experienced as a teen and how they shaped who I am.

12. Charlie says, "Maybe it's good to put things into perspective. Sometimes I think the only perspective it to really be there." How has Charlie's outlook shifted since the beginning of the story?

He understands what it means to be "participating." At first he thinks it just means to talk to people and get involved with activities. But by the end of the novel he understands it's more than that. It's being fully present and aware. I think the best scene that shows this is when he's changing the music based on the mood and activities of the partygoers. He learns how to "participate" on an entirely different level. Sometimes the biggest participators are actually behind the scenes, hence the perks of being a wallflower.

13. What reflections did the book inspire in your own life? What parts resonated most deeply with you?

Charlie's relationship with Patrick affected me deeply. I had a friend in high school that everyone thought for sure was gay but he denied it all throughout high school. When I finally got back in touch with him 15 years later I was delighted to learn he was openly gay. Reading about Patrick made me wonder what it was like from my friend's perspective.

My rating  

Movie Review

Coming soon!

Monday Musings: Amazon's Acquisition of GoodReads

This week's topic: Please share your opinions of Amazon's acquisition of GoodReads

It seems that Amazon.com has bought GoodReads last week and people are not happy. I personally think it's awesome. While I don't buy all my books from Amazon I do go there to read reviews of books. I don't like the way GoodReads has the reviews set up. So if I could click on the title of the book at GoodReads and it would take me right to the Amazon listing, I wouldn't complain at all.

Honestly I don't use GoodReads all that much. Mostly I just like being able to put the widget here on my blog. I think it's just too much of a hassle to get anymore involved with the site. I'm already on Blogger, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Google +. I just don't have time to get more involved.

If you are someone who is deleting your account on GoodReads because Amazon bought them I have two words for you. Grow up! Are you really going to delete your account before you even know how it's going to change the website? That's just stupid and completely overreacting. It seems some of them are overly concerned that Amazon will be keeping tabs on what they are reading.

“I wasn’t happy doing it,” said Michele Filgate, an events coordinator at Community Bookstore in Brooklyn, N.Y. But she said called the prospect of Amazon knowing what books she buys and also what she reads as “just too much.”

Hello!? That could be a good thing! I love how Amazon shows similar books that I may be interested in. I've found many books I wouldn't have otherwise because of Amazon's suggestions. It's Amazon not Big Brother! (I'm sure there are many that would argue they are one and the same.) I think it would be wonderful for the authors and publishing companies to be able to see where they are ranking at Goodreads and Amazon. If you support your favorite authors, then you would want Amazon to know what you are reading! Because that lets your favorite authors know you are reading them!

And who cares if they know what you buy considering there's no rule that says you have to buy from Amazon? I've bought books other places. I've even written a review for books I bought elsewhere on Amazon a number of times.

Are you really that worried about some exec looking at the books you've bought and complaining that you weren't buying them from Amazon? Does this really keep you up night? Oh I do declare, that in a manner like Scarlet O'Hara, I will never have a profile on Goodreads again! Get over yourself already!

In fact, keep your profile on Goodreads but don't buy from Amazon. That's sticking it to The Man. Here's all the books I've read listed on Goodreads but I didn't buy any of them from you Amazon. Na na na na na na!

This post has been part of Monday Musings hosted by The Book Barista.

Fat Kid Rules the World by K. L. Going

The Book

This young adult book took my by surprise. I guess maybe it's because I tend to be a little bit prejudiced against young adult books sometimes. There's so many of them that are romantic fluff that I get surprised when I find one that takes a serious topic and handles it beautifully.

This novel doesn't just take one topic. It takes several such as depression, attempted suicide, death of a parent, sibling rivalry, being overweight, bullying, drug addiction, homelessness, true friendship, and the purpose of music. That doesn't even cover all of them. However it's anything but sad and dreary. I found myself laughing dozens of times at Troy's clever observations and hilarious self-depreciating humor. I also ended up caring so much about the characters that I cried for them. There's also a philosophy in the book that will leave me trying to "see through the bullshit" for the rest of my life.

The blurb for this book is:
Troy Billings is seventeen, 296 pounds, friendless, utterly miserable, and about to step off a New York subway platform in front of an oncoming train. Until he meets Curt MacCrae, an emaciated, semi-homeless, high school dropout guitar genius, the stuff of which Lower East Side punk rock legends are made. Never mind that Troy’s dad thinks Curt’s a drug addict and Troy’s brother thinks Troy’s the biggest (literally) loser in Manhattan. Soon, Curt’s recruited Troy as his new drummer—even though Troy can’t play the drums. Together, Curt and Troy will change the world of punk, and Troy’s own life, forever.

Although Troy and Curt are fairly close in age and have the same high school in common, these are the only traits they share. In every other aspect they couldn't be more opposite. Troy is an overweight loser and Curt is considered a local rock legend. Using the phrases "overweight loser" and "local rock legend" cheapens these characters though. They are anything but stereotypes. That's what makes this novel so great. The truth of who they are is what matters in this story. Even Troy's military father defies the stereotype of a cold, hard Marine.

There's also one particular line that stuck with me. Forgive me if it's a paraphrased. "The words I had been waiting to hear my whole life were the ones I needed to give away." There's something so beautifully profound about that. It speaks to me about my own life.

Equally unforgettable is the scene when Troy and Curt are in the restaurant and Curt helps Troy see the world in an entirely different way. I would love to tell you what that is but I never give spoilers in my reviews.

Ultimately the book is a lesson about not giving up on yourself and not giving up on the people you care about. None of these are topics you would expect in a book about being in a punk rock band. When you think of punk music you think of rebellion, anarchy, and destruction. Don't worry. Those things are in there.

My rating and I don't give this many out often: 

The Movie
I wanted the movie Fat Kid Rules the World to be great too. I especially had high expectations because Matthew Lillard was directing. He was so amazing in the movie SLC Punk that you expect him to really get what the book is about. Unfortunately the movie tended to revert this deep characters back to stereotypes. Troy is a typical fat kid and we just don't get to see inside his mind. This is why we read books though isn't it? Movies just don't show the inner thoughts of people unless there are voice overs. I honestly think a voice over would have given Troy the depth he had in the book.

What was missing the most was the humor of the book. I wanted the movie to show how smart, clever, and perceptive Troy really was but unfortunately the screenwriter just didn't catch it. I don't really blame Matthew Lillard's directing. I mostly blame the screenwriter who on some levels just didn't seem to get the true meaning of Fat Kid Rules the World.

Curt is only a hint of of what he is in the book. The movie version doesn't catch his mannerisms, his hyperactiveness, how dirty and disheveled he really was, or how he was treated like a local rock god. In the movie, Curt was disrespected by his fellow band members and just wasn't treated with the awe that he was in the book. This is what made the book so fascinating. Curt had an image and reputation for being a rock god despite being a filthy, homeless, drug addict. He was an enigma, not a stereotype.

Don't get me wrong. The movie is good, but it could have so much more. It just seemed to care more about plot than it did about character.

It's probably more like 3 1/2 but... 

The New Mom's Guide to Living on Baby Time by Susan Besze Wallace with Monica Reed

This book was hit and miss sometimes but overall it is definitely worth the read. It's also a quick read so you can get it done in between baby's naps and feedings.

I had really expected more regarding how to work with my baby's schedule. Instead the book just referred me to another book Secrets of The Baby Whisperer by the late Tracey Hogg. I felt this was a total cop out. I was looking for more advice about working with my baby's routine not just three questions at the end of a chapter on the topic asking my if I prefer a schedule or not to schedule. Hello!? If I didn't want a schedule or routine why in the world would I be reading this book?

I did disagree with the scheduling advice the authors gave to some degree. It seemed to contradict itself at times. In one part they are saying that you need to establish a "routine" because you can't actually schedule a baby but then in another section they talked about a mom who put her baby to bed every night at 10 PM from the very start and he slept until morning. (Yeah right!) This seemed completely out of place with the earlier chapter about letting go of your expectations of life with baby.

It had some great tips about getting out of the house and considering my favorite place in the world is already the mall (with or without a newborn) the tips will work well for me. My library also has reading time called Babies and Books. However, a new mom without these resources (or who hates the mall) might be throwing the book at the wall.

Another complaint I had about the book is the authors talk way too much about having a toddler. The book's title is "The New Mom's Guide" not the "Second or Third Time Mom's Guide." In the end, the tips to "find pockets of time" and "do what works for you" was pretty disappointing. That's just common sense. I don't need to read a book to know that.

Overall though I did like the advice about letting go of "getting things done" and "achieving goals." I tend to be a Type A personality that likes to check things off of my to do list. The advice to let go of that mentality and just enjoy my baby was great. I also gave the book an extra star because it is one of the few books written on this topic.

 My rating

The Attachment Parenting Book by William and Martha Sears

I heard about attachment parenting a few years ago and assumed it was something that only...well...how do I put this? I thought only weirdos practiced attachment parenting. All I knew about them was that they breastfed their kids until they were old enough to ask for steak and that they all slept in a family bed. I was kind of a jerk and idiot because this is the most extreme of attachment parenting. It turns out there is an attachment parenting spectrum and not all advocates are quite so hardcore.

It also turns out I've been practicing some aspects of attachment parenting for the last 19 years and didn't even know it.

I've always been the type of person who wants to read the material of the originator. While there are dozens of other books on attachment parenting, this book is by the pediatrician Dr. William Sears, who was the first to coin the term "attachment parenting." 

Because I started reading this book with such preconceived ideas about what attachment parenting was, I was pleasantly surprised to learn the original concept wasn't quite so "crunchy granola" for a lack of a better term. Dr. Sears explains his philosophy on attachment parenting and backs it up with science. He expands on the seven basic principles of attachment parenting which he calls the B's:

1. Birth bonding (Rooming in after giving birth and continuing to bond in the early weeks and months)

2. Breastfeeding (However, he respects the choice to bottle feed. In fact, he lacks the Nazi-like attitude that breastfeeding must be done to be a good mother. In fact, Dr. Sears says "Don't let anyone make you feel guilty for not breastfeeding.")

3. Babywearing (Wearing your baby in a carrier or sling)

4. Bedding close to baby (I was surprised to find out that Dr. Sears is not an advocate of the "family bed." He explains that his children did co-sleep with him and his wife but all did so one at a time and eventually moved to their own beds.)

5. Belief in baby's cry (This simply means understanding that a baby's cries are how he communicates his needs. A baby does not cry to manipulate the parent.)

6. Balance and boundries (This means taking care of yourself, your partner, and the rest of your family in balance with taking care of your baby. Boundries means you don't give your child everything she wants, just what she needs and you practice discipline while respecting the child.)

7. Beware of baby trainers (This means you adapt to your baby's schedule as opposed to making your baby fit yours. You feed on demand and avoid methods such as crying it out.)

I was highly impressed with this book. It was a great introduction to attachment parenting and wasn't so hardcore that it completely scared me off. Dr. Sears even explains that you don't have to practice all of the principles to be an attachment parent. Parents will use these different tools to different degrees that works best for their family. I loved how Dr. Sears emphasized that if you don't take care of yourself along with caring for your child, you won't be the best parent you can be. This is truly a holistic approach that takes into consideration every family members needs.

My only complaint is that it doesn't have as much detail about how to practice some of these tools. For example, there are several different types of slings and baby carriers. It takes some practice to learn how to use a sling or carrier safely. This information was not included in the book. Another example was there wasn't any information about where Dr. Sears stands on issues such as cloth vs. disposable diapers or when to start feeding a baby sold food. I would have liked to have seen topics like these included. Perhaps they are in his other book titled The Baby Book. I would also like to know how to apply the principles of attachment parenting to older children which I believe are addressed in The Discipline Book and Creative Parenting.

My rating 

Down Came the Rain by Brooke Shields

I just recently gave birth to my 5th child on Jan 29th and am at risk for developing postpartum depression because I have suffered from severe depression in the years since having my last child. Because I have never experienced postpartum depression, I wanted to read about women that have so I know what to look for.

I think Down Came the Rain by Brooke Shields is possibly the most well known book about postpartum depression. I read this book years ago, but had no understanding of depression at the time and found her description of her pain and extreme thoughts melodramatic. They aren't. I now understand what Brooke went through to some extent. 

The parts that were about her experience having postpartum depression were excellent. I was also captivated by her account of her traumatic birth experience. I had normal healthy vaginal deliveries with all five of my kids so I was truly shocked by what Brooke experienced. Her description of what she went through emotionally were no holds barred. I have yet to be so frank about my thoughts during my struggle with depression so I applaud her for baring it all. It took a lot of courage to write and publish her story.

I also enjoyed her account about what it took for her to even conceive a child. How and when she learned that her first pregnancy was no longer viable was absolutely horrifying. (I don't want to give any spoilers.) She is an unbelievably strong woman.

Unfortunately, she is not a strong writer. While the subject matter is intense and the book was considered a breakthrough at the time it was published, this book is far from polished. So much of it is repetitive. It seemed to have been assembled piecemeal and desperately needed editing. These less than stellar parts read almost like they were from her diary or journal.

I wish Brooke had included more about her experiences on Paxil. It's interesting that she talks about the various side effects of this drug and how it's not addictive. Current research shows the exact opposite. It has some serious side effects and the withdrawl from it is a nightmare from what I've read. 

What I wish Brooke had left out was the last few sections that talked extensively about her relationship with her mother. The subject matter didn't seem to really fit with the topic of postpartum depression. It felt almost like filler, like she was trying to reach a specific page count and had nothing more to say about her actual postpartum depression experience.

Her postpartum depression experience also seemed very shortlived. This is not a criticism but I'm interested in reading about someone who did not have such easy access to help. It's hard to deny that Brooke's money was a key to how quickly she was able to receive treatment. However, I found it odd that other reviewers complained about her nannies helping her. In reality, she only had a nanny for two weeks while she was suffering from PPD. That's hardly someone that is living in the lap of luxury. 

What shocked me was that while it was shortlived, I didn't realize PPD could come on so quickly. I've always heard it doesn't occur until a few weeks to a year afterwards. Brooke's suffering seemed to start within hours of giving birth. I could relate to the fear and anxiety about her depression coming back. I can't help but wonder if only a person that has suffered from depression or knows someone who has could truly appreciate this book.

Overall this was a good book but it could have been a great one with some good editing.

My rating